Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process
Titled: Brace for It.
in an effort to “get caught up,” Steve becomes the pop culture junkie of the group
he lives for the looks of confusion on other people’s faces and makes increasingly obscure references in a not-so-subtle attempt at revenge
some are born hipsters, some achieve hipsterdom and some become hipsters fOR VENGEANCE
Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:
"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"
"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"
"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"
"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."
"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"
- "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
- "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"
- east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
- west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land